Monday, October 31, 2005

Seven Short Jokes

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1.

PETS

A teacher was telling her pupils what they must and mustn't do with their pets.
'You must make sure that it's clean'. You must feed it properly. You mustn't let it go near the main road. You must never kiss a cat or a dog.'
'That's right, Miss,' said a little boy called Harry. My aunt Alice used to kiss her dog'
'And what happened?' asked the teacher.
'It died.'

Answer

Who was telling her pupils what to do with their pets?
What must they make sure of?
What did she say about kissing pets?
Who agreed with her?
Why did Harry agree?
What happened to his aunt's dog?



2.

OH!


Doctor I can't really understand what's the matter with you, Mr.Brown. I think it's drink
Mr Brown I understand doctor. I'll come back when you are sober

Translate the passage



3.

THRIFTY PEOPLE


How do you get 33 Scotts into a taxi?
Throw a penny in first.



4.

KILL MY WIFE?

Don't kill your wife with housework !
Let electricity do it



5.

A PENGUIN ?


A drunken driver walked into a pub looking very worried.
'Does anyone here own a penguin?' he asked.
'No', said the customers.
'Oh dear', said the driver. 'Then I think I've run over a nun.'


6.

Oh!

Customers who consider our waitress impolite should see the manager.


7.

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

A Scot was traveling on a train. The train was crossing the river Forth. The inspector came and asked him for his ticket. The Scot looked in all his pockets but he couldn't find it anywhere. He said that he had lost it.
'I don't believe you', said the guard .'You didn't buy a ticket'. The guard was so angry that he picked up the Scotsman's suit-case and threw it out of the window into the river below.
'Good heavens', said the Scot. 'First you call me a liar and now you drown my son'

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